Societal Pressure to be perfect moms
Parenting The Ugly Truth

Society’s Pressure to be the Perfect Mom (Part 1)

The pressure on moms is stronger than ever! They are expected to do it all while living a picture-perfect life!

If you’ve been pregnant before, or you’re a mom, you’ve definitely experienced societal pressure by now. Whether it’s loosing the baby weight at the speed of light after you deliver, breastfeeding your child or formula feeding him, restructuring your career path, sleep training your child… you name it! You always feel certain guilt or pressure that things didn’t turn out the way you (or society) wanted to.

Here are some examples of what society pressures new moms to do:

Loosing the baby weight quickly

Social Media nowadays puts so much pressure on new mothers to loose their baby weight quickly, and get back to their pre-pregnancy bodies as soon as they’ve delivered. Let’s be real here, celebrities and influencers make it look so easy and effortless to loose all that baby weight, and we tend to forget what’s real and what’s not. Why are our pictures so different and so less glamorous than theirs? You know exactly why, so try to remember that!

Work on setting a realistic goal for yourself and don’t compare yourself to other mamas. Each body is different. Women, and especially mothers, should work collectively – encouraging and helping each other by sharing tips and real moments together!

Leaving your current job vs. being a stay-at-home mom

Nowadays, and in our society, if you have the luxury to stay at home but you choose to keep on working and leave your child at home, people don’t quite understand it and might criticise you. But what they don’t understand is that it’s not easy being a working mom and juggling a full-time job with a family life!

On the other side, people might not understand how you fill in your time being a stay-at-home mom. I get questions like “what do you do all day” ? As if cooking 3 meals a day, cleaning poo and pee, entertaining an active little kid, dealing with tantrums all day, and taking care of a home is not enough. Basically if you choose to keep on working after having baby, you might be labeled as selfish, and if you choose to stay at home with your newborn, you might be considered lazy. Which one are you? 😀

Comparing babies & children

Every baby goes through his own schedule of development. Don’t listen to moms comparing their babies to yours. Every baby has a gift, and they’re perfect in their own way whether they walk at 10 months or at 15 months, or whether they sleep at night (these mommies used to get the best of me) or wake up every hour of the night (my babylove 😀 ) .

I feel like first-time mommies are the most susceptible, because they don’t really know what to expect from their child and the only people they count on for advice are their friends (who are parents) and their families.

Breastfeeding/Formula feeding your baby

Can we just let go of our expectations and enjoy our newborns for a second?

I remember people used to ask me if I was going to breastfeed even before I gave birth, and I used to laugh and make jokes about it. But seriously people, breastfeeding is no joke! Although breastfeeding is a natural thing, it doesn’t mean it is easy. If breastfeeding is horrendously painful, talk to a lactation consultant, if it is causing you depression or anxiety, seek help and talk about it!

But also, why does society put that much pressure on breastfeeding in public, while they also put pressure on you if you are bottle feeding ?! You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t!

And for mamas who decided to formula feed their babies by choice (or because they had to), do it and don’t feel guilty about it for one second because what’s important here is that baby gets all the nutrients he needs and he is!!

FED IS BEST! Basically, just do whatever makes you and baby happier and calmer!

Feeding your child organic produce

Do you only serve organic meals to your kid?” That’s a question I get A LOT.

And NO, I don’t! My son would eat about anything, whether organic or not. Yes, I do make the effort to use organic products at home as much as I can and when I have the luxury/time to do so, but I don’t stress out about that topic at all! Those food pictures you see on our feed, they’re not all organic, and guess what, they taste heavenly!

Parenting is a Women’s job

Specially in our society, people believe that kids need their mom more than their dad. And this is totally not true. Dads should be able to do everything moms do (except breastfeeding of course). Why is it okay for a woman to change diapers, but it is very “heroic” of a dad if he does so. It’s called co-parenting. Parents are expected to take care of that child of theirs. Mom and Dad are just as important for a child’s development.

At the end of the day, do yourself a favour and don’t compare yourself to anyone else! Only follow people that put you in a good mood and gives you positive energy about the job you’re doing! There is a fine line between feeling motivated and feeling discouraged by all the mother figures you follow online and in real life. There is no such thing as a “perfect mom and kid”, and we definitely don’t want to pressure our kids to chase that perfection!

There’s so much more about this topic, so stay tuned for part 2 of the article coming soon 😉

We are firm believers that Honest Mother Advice is the best, read more about “How your mama friends can get you through motherhood

Societal Pressure on moms


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  1. Mira says:

    Woooooow! By far my favourite ! M not a mother nor pregnant, but m surrounded by these women! And not only do I feel sorry for the guiltified ones, but I myself (!non pregnant nonmother ) already am pressured to feel the guilt of even thinking of becoming a stay at home mom who doesn’t breastfeed and doesn’t feed organic !

  2. the Shared Diarues says:

    glad you love it Mira! <3
    It is truly a shame how women in general are put under so much pressure to be the perfect moms even before they are mothers!

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