The pressure on moms is stronger than ever! They are expected to do it all while living a picture-perfect life!
Some things that bother me about being a woman in this judgmental world we live in, and more specifically being a mother, are the expectations set before me on a daily basis, whether it’s from friends, social media, or family.
Here are some examples of what society pressures new moms to do:
People think that Moms who hire a nanny or a night nurse are lazy
The first few weeks baby is born are the most exhausting, because you really don’t know what to expect. Mothers go through all kinds of mixed emotions, not to forget some even experience postpartum disease. Is it wrong to hire a nanny or a night nurse to help us out? I personally don’t think so. In fact, after 2 weeks of exhaustion and waking up every hour at night to pump and take care of Samy during the first 2 weeks, hiring a night nurse was the best thing I ever could have done! I was able to regularly pump at night and get some much needed sleep. You’re going to hear a lot of opinions and people telling you “We did it all ourselves with no help, why can’t you?” or “Our parents never asked for help, and we all turned out fine” . Well that’s their opinion, and you got yours, so get some well needed night rest mama.
If your Kid Does Something Wrong, The Mom Isn’t Doing Her Job right
People rarely praise moms for their well educated kid. But God forbid the kid does something bad or gets hurt, it is always her fault! Not the dad’s fault… Mom’s fault… because “she” is raising him.
Not Giving New Moms Time To Heal After Birth
Some people say moms get back to their normal self after 40 days of giving birth. So inaccurate! It took me months to start to feel slightly normal again. Studies show that a woman’s body can take a whole year to heal mentally and physically after delivery! And having a short maternity leave puts pressure on the working mom to heal even faster! Not to mention all the hospital and surprise home visits you get not even a week after you get back home. Every woman has her own timeline to heal, and we should respect it!
Potty Training your child at an early age
“Samy Nedef?” (I.e, is Samy clean? I.e Is Samy still using diapers?) I hate that question. My son is very clean thank you, whether he still poops his diapers or not. Some people can get very vocal about whether it’s early or late to potty train your kid. There is no proof that potty training your child earlier will have its benefits, in fact, some studies showed that the sooner you start potty training your child, the longer the process might take. So, mamas, you know your kids better, so you decide when it’s the right time. Our parents and grandparents might have taken other approaches regarding potty training, but there’s nothing more important than feeling a child’s readiness for it. Follow your instincts!
Naming your child
Ay Yay Yay!
The most taboo Subject of them all!
I’m not going to get into details because some people might get offended, however I have to say that I do not appreciate people placing expectations on unborn foetuses. Since when did naming an unborn child become an appropriate open discussion for everybody, even strangers?!
I know that grandparents (in our culture specifically) want to see their bloodline continue and feel proud when we name our kids after them. But this should be the parents’ decision, not the grandparents or the in-laws . If you choose to name your child after a beloved one, then this is a choice. But when the mother doesn’t have any say in naming her own child, it is just a shame!
All I have to say is, with all the social pressure we endure as moms, we might as well try to laugh things off and keep our sense of humour but the best way to cope with societal pressure is in fact to know yourself and your worth, and not to let anybody break you as a mother and as a woman in general.
You know what’s good for yourself and your family mama, just follow your instincts!
Don’t forget to read Society’s Pressure to be the Perfect Mom (Part 1) if you haven’t already!